When
I learnt to read, the first influential story that I read was of Mahabharata
and I thought I am reincarnation of Krishna. He even appeared in my dream.
Later when I grew up a little, I tried to emulate Arjun or Karna. When my
teachers gave lectures that one day one of you will be Mahatma Gandhi or Jawahar
Lal Nehru, I thought of following them. Much later in life when I read “My Experiment
with Truth” I thought I have read the best book on leadership and truth. I
tried to follow it, but in the practical world of diplomacy, truth was the
first casualty. But yes, practise what you preach is glued to my head which
even nuclear fission cannot disintegrate it.
In
the National Defence Academy, we had to study a subject called Military
History. One civilian Instructor named Mr Bhandari used to teach this subject
to us. He came fully prepared and kept us engrossed for 40 minutes with a chalk
in his hand making sketches on the board and explaining. Till now I am trying
to emulate him.
When
I was a Subaltern (a junior officer) in the battalion, I tried to emulate my
senior subaltern then Lt Vilas Baburao Zende and my Company Commander then Maj
CG Shambaya. Whenever, I faced a
challenging situation(s), I tried to think as to how they would have
acted/reacted.
In
military history, I studied various campaigns of great warriors and military
leaders. Immediately on completion of the study, I thought I was Alexander the
Great or Julius Caesar. On several occasions I tried to emulate the manoeuvres
of Rommel, Patton and Guderian but these ended in disastrous consequences.
Some time back, I read in the Readers Digest, an essay on
Empathy by Roman
Krznaric. I bought his book “Empathy—what it matters, and how
to get it”. I did not only read it but studied it and converted the book into a
Power Point Presentation. In this he made reference to several empathetic books like “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” by
Harriet Beecher Stowe, “Schindler’s Ark” by Thomas Kennelly, “Black Like me” by
John Howard Griffin, “The General’s Son—Journey of an Israeli in Palestine and
finally “All Quiet on the Western Front” by Erich Maria Remarque. I read and studied all the books mentioned by
Roman Krznaric. Also read the articles about Che Guevara who wanted to become a
medical doctor but became an empathetic terrorist; the story of Patricia Moore;
an empathetic designer: Eric Lomax, a British prisoner in Burma during the Word
War II and his tormentor in the camp, the Japanese Translator Takashi Nagase
who beg forgiveness to Eric after 48 years in 1993. The list is endless
including Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, George Orwell, Gunther
Wallraff, to name few, but study of these great Empathetic personalities did
not make me empathetic. I also planned to build a Human Library in the society
but did not follow it with vigour. Why this? I read and learnt a lot about
empathy and empathetic personalities, but still I did not become empathetic. I
got the answer when I took the Clifton Strengths Finder Test. Empathy was at
number 9 out of 10 for me.
I am Empathetic but not always. It is a supporting talent for me. It is
much below my top five: Learner, Achiever, Strategic, Arranger and Input.
Discovery of these talents (some of these are already my strong strengths) gave
me identity as to who I am. Why do I think, feel and behave the way I naturally
do? My talents gave me insight into as to why I could not follow the great
leaders naturally. While considering retrospectively, all my success in
professional and personal lives are attributed to these talents and strengths.
The failures are as a result of not working within my strengths zones. I failed
when trying to emulate someone else. I failed because I tried to do what I was
not.
So I am a
Learner,
Achiever, Strategic, Arranger and Input. This is my identity. I will not
follow anyone. I will follow myself ie my thoughts, feeling and behaviours that come
naturally to me.
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